HOME MADE MOCHA FRAPPE

REMEMBER THAT CAFE CON LECHE POST?

WELL. 

I was telling Grace last night (while she was here, drinking my cafe con leche) that I wanted to try it iced. I took it a step (or ten) beyond iced. 

THE BEST PART IS THAT GRACE DOESNT LIKE COFFEE I HAVE CONVERTED HER TO THE WAYS OF CUBANISM

AHEM. Sorry. Moving on to the original point. 

I had cafe con leche and bread for breakfast, and honestly we make way too much coffee for the amount we use. 

So I decided to try making a coffee milkshake, like the fancy schmancy coffee shops that serve overpriced coffee. 

I must say that I am a master. Maybe that's excessive. 

Here's a picture of the finished product.

I am drink/eating it while I type this post. 

the desk only looks messy dont judge me

CASUALLY SIPS COFFEE

AHEM

For the recipe, or basically step by step shitty pictures, carry on my wayward son.

Until I can afford an extra $50 a month I have to deal with this crappy phone. 

So. Sorry for the quality. Yumminess awaits!

So, Start with a good size glass cup.

I was literally about to use this Shrek cup, but decided that might be too childish. 

Anyway, Place your cup of choice into your freezer it could be a mason jar, a Shrek cup, a beer glass snagged from your favorite bar, I don't care and neither should you.

A flat stable surface is the best surface. Otherwise catastrophe awaits your poor glass. 

please ignore the cluttered mess that is my house.  

Now, collect your ingredients. 

Just focus on what is on the wooden cutting board. 

This includes:

• milk (whatever milk suits your fancy, but skim milk wont make a very good milkshake, keep that in mind.)
• chocolate syrup. whatever you might have. home made, hersheys, great value, it's your coffee milkshake.
• ice. 
• strong coffee. cold. as in the opposite of hot 
• sugar 
• salt

Now throw everything in your blender.

What?

I didn't inform you of the amounts? Oh, maybe I should do that. 

I made enough for one serving, because hello its just me here. all by myseeeeelf.

So measure out about a cup of ice cubes.

I had more than a cup and I don't regret it. REMEMBER IT'S YOUR MILKSHAKE.

On top of the ice went about one quarter cup of milk.

Then another quarter cup, only this time not milk but coffee. 

I used the leftover coffee from cafe con leche this morning. 

So it is this kind of coffee:

REMEMBER THAT IT'S REALLY STRONG

Moving on, on top of that I put about a tablespoon and a half of regular granulated sugar into the blender. 

Personally, I'm not sure I put enough sugar. 

But play around with how it tastes to you. 

I typically put more sugar to coffee ratio when it's hot, so I made a dumb mistake. 

Then I put about two tablespoons of chocolate syrup into the blender. 

Again, put more or less. I am the honey badger. And the honey badger doesn't give a fuck.

Remember how much salt went into the hot cafe con leche? 

That much is what goes in the blender. 

Now that all the ingredients are in the blender, put that baby on the machine and blend away. 

Pour that milkshake into your chilled glass.

It will have that cool frosted glass effect

I HAD TO EAT IT WITH A SPOON

Now that the recipe is through. I have a couple things to say. 

This was simply a suggested guideline. 

I will probably not do the same thing next time.

Because I used too much coffee and not enough sugar. 

But that is in part due to the fact that I used the MOTHERFUCKING GODZILLA OF STRONG COFFEES IT WILL KNOCK YOUR TASTEBUDS TO THE FLOOR AND THEN THEY WILL GET BACK UP AND SCREAM FOR MORE

ahem. 

I should have used less coffee, but I don't regret this milkshake. It is just an experience to learn from for next time. 

The icy bits floated to the top like a slushy does, so mix it up dont mix it up whatever floats your boat. 

I was able to drink it normally about halfway through.

Literally this was amazing. I will be doing it more often.

Never going to a coffee shop for coffee ever again. 

This was an experiment for me, so you do this with what you have and experiment with it. 

Also be careful where you put it, because it gathers condensation. 

I was a dumbass and put it on my anthropology exam. 

I guess I was too excited to drink it to care. 

CAFE CON LECHE

MEANING COFFEE WITH MILK

REALLY IT SHOULD BE CALLED MILK WITH A SPLASH  OF COFFEE.

EITHER WAY ITS FUCKING DELICIOUS.

I DRANK THIS ONE TOO FAST FOR PICTURES. 

So I guess I'll have to make another cup. That's such a tragedy, I might die, not really.

Along side the pictures I took while making it, I have some from when I was in Florida. 

The recipe follows with a lot of pictures. 

SO TO BEGIN, 

YOU USE THIS KIND OF COFFEE:

IT'S REALLY REALLY STRONG. IT'S ESPRESSO. THE POINT IS THAT IT SHOULD BE REALLY STRONG.

SO, BREW IT THE SAME WAY YOU NORMALLY BREW COFFEE, EXPERIMENT WITH HOW STRONG YOU WANT IT.

ONCE YOU'VE DONE THAT, PULL OUT TWO LARGE MUGS. 

Please ignore the dirty counter, my dad and I cook a lot. 

IF YOU DO NOT HAPPEN TO HAVE AT LEAST TWO LARGE MUGS OF ABOUT EQUAL SIZE, GRAB ONE MUG THAT YOU WANT, AND ONE THAT IS LARGER. 

ANYWAY, ONCE YOU'VE GOT YOUR MUGS, POUR SOME 2% OR HIGHER MILK IN ONE MUG. ABOUT HALF OR MORE.

BUT NOT FULL. TRUST ME.

POP THAT SNAZZY SNOWMAN MUG IN THE MICROWAVE. 

HEAT UP YOUR MILK. 

Preferably covered somehow, because it will get a gross film on top otherwise. That film doesnt stir back into the milk, so you'd have to skim it off somehow. 

WHILE THAT HEATS, FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON THE REMAINING MUG

WE'RE GONNA PUT SOME SUGAR IN THIS BITCH

ONE TO THREE SPOONFULS DEPENDING ON YOUR TASTEBUDS

I USE TWO

BECAUSE ITS DELICIOUS.

NOW. SALT.

YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY. SALT.

NOT TOO MUCH, BUT THE RIGHT AMOUNT WILL MAKE YOUR TASTEBUDS VERY VERY HAPPY. 

SHITTY PICTURES ARE SHIT I'M SORRY.

NOW, AT THIS POINT YOU HAVE ONE ALMOST FULL MUG OF HEATED MILK, AND A SECOND MUG WITH SUGAR AND SALT, LIKE SO. 

NOW IN YOUR MILK MUG, POOR SOME OF YOUR FRESHLY BREWED COFFEE.

WITHOUT STIRRING IT SHOULD LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

NOW, THIS PART CAN BE TRICKY, BUT IF I CAN DO IT WITH ONE HAND YOU CAN DO IT WITH TWO.

TAKE YOUR COFFEE-ESQUE MILK AND POUR IT INTO THE SUGAR AND SALT MUG, GET SOME 

HEIGHT. WE WANT THIS SHIT TO GET MIXED UP.

ALSO. I SPILLED EVERYWHERE. DO THIS OVER THE SINK PLEASE. 

POUR BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO CUPS ABOUT FOUR TIMES. 

WHEN YOU ARE DONE POURING BACK AND FORTH YOUR CUP OF CAFE CON LECHE SHOULD LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

It's pretty much ready to consume. Congratulations. You are now Cuban.

Just kidding.

This is what I ate all week in Florida. 

Toasted Cuban bread slathered with butter and cut into dunkable strips.

And this is how you eat it.

Literally the best thing ever.

You can drink the coffee by itself, or toast some french/cuban/italian whatever loaf of bread you can find that isnt sliced processed white bread. 

I'm a big fan of the coffee itself, and I also really love dipping buttered Cuban bread into it.

Another thing Cubans (like my family) dip into their cafe con leche is garlic bread.

DONT KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT

it's garlic muddled in olive oil (some good quality stuff)

smeared onto toasted bread, just everywhere

then tomato slices placed on top

sprinkle with a bit of salt

I don't like dipping that into my cafe con leche. but I do enjoy eating that by itself

This isn't really anything new, it's something I have had since forever in my childhood. 

I originally posted this recipe, and many more to come, on my Tumblr. This page holds some of the recipes and reviews on my personal tumblr.

And this page is my cooking tumblr. I post food that my dad and I cook there, along with things my dad doesn't participate in. 

At some point I am going to transfer the recipes and reviews on these two pages to this blog. I will also still post there. So I will update all three pages. Some things might feature on just one, maybe all three. It largely depends on the post. 

If you read through this entire thing, congratulations, and thanks for dropping by. Stick around for more posts on things that I do. 

Oh wow

It has been an entire year since I have even looked at this blog. I started this, then promptly forgot about it. However I did start something similar on Tumblr. Maybe I should transfer those things here? I will certainly consider it. Because I have a list of recipes and things that I have already completed and posted and more that I haven't. Plus I want to add food and tea reviews to this as well. Wish me luck.